On being loosey-goosey while you make your way...

Making my mark with a bold choice of colour....

Someone reminded me of something important last week; “You are not your degree.” I realize that doesn’t sound terribly insightful, but when I heard it - and I had to hear it more than once - it struck a chord. I think I feel like I flipped and flopped through so many jobs in so many cities and felt like the squarest peg in the roundest hole in so many instances, that teaching history of fashion has felt like a gift. This work makes sense to me! I can synthesize all those bits of art and design and film and pop culture and world history and, and, and it all makes sense to me, and better still, people seem to like it! Let me tell you, if you’ve chastised yourself for daydreaming through staff meetings, found yourself shouting “why aren’t you printing?” at the Zerox copier or been told by a none-too-sympathetic older sibling that you’re "flighty, you know, a flibbidyjibbet" - discovering work that you feel comes naturally to you is an enormous relief. So is there a sense of unease about possibly inserting myself in to a situation that may make me feel inept? That plays into a label I was given by someone - one that hit a tender spot - years ago? I’m thinking maybe yes.

So this is where nimbleness comes in, a word I’ve used previously, but one that warrants repeating. I’m thinking if I cling to an idea of what I should be, or who I am, be it out of fear or some misguided sense of responsibility, I’m seriously stuck. Petrified. Screwed. But if I can play it loose and easy, maybe keep an eye open for those hard and fast takes that only serve to paddle my behind (who is that taskmaster, anyway?) I might be relaxed enough to hear that small voice inside that says “Try this.” Or “you love that.” “It makes you happy - do more of that and see where it takes you.” Anyway, maybe this all a bit too esoteric, I dunno. But I am struck by how that taskmaster voice can shake even the most talented, successful individuals - people you’d never expect would second-guess themselves or be afraid to try something new. (More on them soon). I guess the point is to trust your instinct about what makes you happy, what lets you live by your values and the stuff that makes you feel estranged from it. That’s all.